Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The New Normal...
I kind of borrowed the title of this post from a friends blog. She recently told the story about her cat who has been terrorized by all the noise and racket going on with her home renovation project. But eventually the cat had gotten used to all the commotion and goings on. So he now sits calmly and watches everything transpire with ease, rather than hide under the nearest bed. All the chaos and nose are now normal to the little fella. He has adapted to his new situation. His "new normal". And that is kind of what is happening to me as Candice.
I am rapidly adapting to my new environment, my new life as a woman. As Candice I have a growing number of friends who really identify my feminine self separately from my male self. In fact as a woman I am being rapidly accepted truly as one of the "girls". As a woman I have a developing independent social structure that parallels that of my male side. Being Candice and becoming more feminine has become my "new normal". Candice really has a life of her own and it is wonderful!
I have never been happier! I love being a woman. I know that under the wig and fabulous top is a man who can open jars, lift heavy objects, read maps and take out the trash... but that is not who I am. My male self is only a small part of my makeup. In my heart, in my soul I am more female then male. Both genders coexist in the sane body. Finding balance between the two sides is challenging, but I am finding success. And with all the love and support of my friends have given me it becomes easier every day. When I started this journey, venturing out into the civilian world as Candice, I was concerned about being spotted by my neighbors. Or running into someone I know. Fearful of stares, of judgmental attitudes. The list goes on. The reality of it all is that as I spend more time as Candice, as a woman, going about my business as such those fears have dissipated. I walk out my door all the time as my female self. My neighbors have seen me, and one one either cares or notices. I have been spotted in public by people I know and I have walked up to people I know who did not recognize me to say hi. Not one person has said boo or given me a truly negative reaction. In fact most are enthusiastic and supportive. I have been spotted as a transgendered woman or crossdresser a few times at different venues by other patrons. But again. I normally get a smile or a wink rather than a scowl or the stink eye. I have spent an entire weekend as a woman. Running errands and and such, and loving every second of it. I spend all my time that I am not required to be a guy as a woman. Being female like I said earlier, is my "new normal"
Tonight I was out with a great group of ladies. Some were old friends meeting Candice for the first time. Others have been Candice's girlfriends from the beginning. Spending time with your sisters is so much fun. In all the guys nights out I have had as a man, none compare to the fun I have with the girls! We had a nice dinner and laughed our butts off! We talked about makeup and how much some of us love Bare Essentials. We talked about "toys" We talked about Brazilian Blow Outs and "Brazilians" (I just resistantly learned the difference!). We talked about OB/GYN visits. and so much more. The best part is being able to openly express you feelings and emotions. Men do not do that. With the guys its talking about work followed by 45 min talking about some fantasy football team. Is it any wonder I rather be a girl! it is so much more interesting to find out where to get a good deal on shoes! And what vibrator/toy works best! Our plan is to go out next Monday night rather than or regular Tuesday night, because I am flying to Las Vegas for a trade show on Tuesday, and I will be gone most of next week
I will not have much time while in Vegas to get my girl on.But I will try. I am going to go through my Facebook contacts and see if I can find out what is going on while I am there. I would love to get out at least one night during my trip. If not I will pack somethings to wear and sleep in when back at the room so I can get my girl on.
Well its off to bed girls! Love you all!