Dinner and the 40% Goal...

Tonight I had dinner with a dear friend and her daughter (also a good friend). We went to a Italian restaurant shared a nice meal, some gossip and girl talk (one of the best parts of spending time as a girl!). This was her daughters first night out with me as Candice. She has see the photos and has known of Candice for the last 6 months or so. She was all smiles. What fun it is making new a new girlfriend! There were a few other girls who were going to join us but things came up and one was sick after a Holiday trip to Mexico. So plans were made to have drinks at a local wine bar next Sunday for those who could not make it out this time around.

My dinner companions, it turns out cant make it next Sunday so plans were made for appetizers and cocktails for next Thursday so I will get to go out twice next week! Weee! I wish I could go out every night!  I would like to see more gurls take a chance and get out in the world. Not just meeting up with other gurls for a night at a tucked away restaurant or gay bar. I mean mixing it up with the regular folks. I would love for more gurls to open up take a chance and make friends and get out the door!

I have a goal... The 40% goal... I am working on spending as close to 40% of my time as Candice as I can if not more. I am close to that now but need to venture out more and do more day to day activities as Candice. I still need to make my living as a man and enjoy living as a man as well. Its just that the freedom of expression being female gives me is so wonderful I cant help but want more! As I stated in the past I do not wish to transition through SRS. I just want to live as much of my life as I can as female. So as long as I have a bunch of food and cocktail loving girlfriends to play with and support me as Candice I will have a reason to get out that door!

Closets suck! Get out of yours as fast as you can and never look back! Its dark and lonely in there, its bright and sunny out here!

Well got to take off my makeup, scrub my face and get some sleep! Love you all!
C

P.S. What are some of your feminine goals? Have you set any? I would love to know! Drop me a note!

Nights Out and Dressing Up.

In the past few weeks I have been out with my girlfriends having a great time. Monday I was at P.F. Chang's China Bistro with my friend Jen. She surprised me by wearing a wig that totally changed her look. She is a stunning lady, but the wig created such a difference I was shocked. She looked hot! I love her style. She said why should I have all the fun changing looks and styles on a whim! And she is right I love to play around with my clothing and image. But what girl does not?  Jen and I also spent this past Sunday shopping. She was embarrassed that my shoe collection far out matched hers! It was a great day.

The Tuesday before I went to a steak house called Fifrebirds (the background photo of this blog if from that night) with Michelle. When we are together its about the shoes and bags! She loves to give me purses! I am so lucky!

The week before that was girls night out at the Armitage Wine Bar. That is where the girls decided to change my name from Karen to Candice (Candi). That was such a fun night. It is so nice to spend time with female friends as a female. The world is so different when your part of a group of ladies. I do cherish the nights we have together.

This past Friday I went to a happy hour at a new place in town with a group of friends who do not know me as Candice.. I was complaining to some of my girlfriends that I was depressed because I had to go dressed as a "guy"... I really was put off by a night out as a boy! Not that I only go out in my feminine finest, I just prefer the dressing freedom and options I have with womens clothing.

I spend a fair amount of time picking out what and how I am going to wear. I stage 2-4 outfits for each night out. and I put together looks just to see what works for future dates. The girls love my outfits, two of them have started staging their clothing as well! 

I in the next  two weeks I will be going out for another girls night out, ladies night at Armitage is on the short list. I also will be having dinner with my dear friend Renee who has been out of town. Another friend Kelly and I are going to see the Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill. I think its required to go to a movie with crossdressing elements while crossdressed.  I also plan on a night out to the theater and dinner next month as well as going to attend a event in Phoenix with the Trans group I belong to.

I love being a busy girl!

Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving!
C

Love my T-Sisters.

On occasion I have the privilege of meeting with a few of the local gurls at a gay bar to have a drink and watch a drag show. As much as I love my GG girlfriends, there is nothing like the bond a gurl shares with another gurl. Mind you I am way more active and out and about with my GG friends, subsequently closer to them. Yet I still love the company of my trans-sisters. Some are more closeted than I am and some are even more out then I am. Its a fun mix of gals.

I also belong to a Meet-Up group (meetup.com) in another town that I have attended events with. All good gurls and the events are a lot of fun. Of course its a 2 hour drive and I spend the night because I know I cant stay awake on the road late at night.

I wish I could make more gurlfriends, but many are deeply closeted and don't venture out. Some are only interested in a sexual hook-up or are very fetish-specific oriented (panties, lingerie, hose etc...)  The handful I do know are amazing and bright. I adore each of them.

Sharing experiences and a lifestyle with like minded people is one of life's great joys. I remember the dark days before the Internet opened up our trasgender world. Trying to find another gurl was a total shot in the dark. Print ads in adult contact magazines. hanging out at gay bars and drag shows. Thinking you were alone in the world. It sucked. I am so happy that the current and future generations of transgender sisters and brothers have a wealth real information, support and guidance available to them. The ability to find friends and connect through the various social media services also means we never need to be alone. We can find others like ourselves.

As society becomes more open and accepting, I hope all my sisters find balance and happiness. Its a big bright world out there! No need to spend so much of it in a closet!

Thanks.
C 

Girlfriends.

I am very blessed to have wonderful and loving girlfriends (GG's) who adore me as Candice. There are twelve all together whom I have outed myself to. Two are past girlfriends. There are other former girlfriends that are not part of this list who know but are not actively part of my life. More than half of these ladies I go out with as Candice on a regular basis. Sometimes as a small group but mostly one or two at a time for dinners and drinks. I am out in the real world once a week and sometimes more.

Each of the girls were carefully picked for the strength of our friendship and the kind of personal bond I had with each. All are open minded caring and loving women. A major part of these friendships is the high level of trust and respect we have for each other. I recommend every gurl out there work on finding solid, loving and trusting female friends. The freedom of expression, the freedom to get out and live as your feminine self is a great gift. A gift worth the time and effort and even the risks that come with outing yourself.

Having female friends that are actively part of your feminine life is so much deferent that the friendships you may have with other transgender gurls. I not going to say its better, but when you are accepted as a "woman" by other women the world really opens up. My female friends truly see Candice as a completely separate person from my male side. All want to and ask to spend time with me as Candice. One girlfriend thinks of me as her "Barbie Doll"and loves to give me bags and makeup!

Its funny how different the conversations are and how the girls interact with me, depending on what gender I express at the time. I appreciate the difference and learn from it. I study my girlfriends. How they act, how they dress, how they think. I ask questions. Everything form fashion and style advice to dealing with emotions and relationships. My female friends help me be the best woman, friend and sister I can be. his also helps make me a better man. I am truly thankful for the women in my life and I deeply love each and every one of them.

Thanks.
C

What kind of girl am I?

I am a woman. I do not think of myself as a Transsexual. Nor do I wish to have SRS. I like my male life, but given a choice I would rather live as a woman. I would like to spend 30-40% of my free time as Candice. I have a number of understanding and very supportive female friends. I am very thankful for them and the love and kindness they give to me. I actively go out in the "straight" world dressed with them. on average once a week, sometimes more. This past Thursday four of us went to a upscale wine bar for ladies night. While I am not perfect and may not be as stunning as some of the gurls out there. I am comfortable as Candice and I dress like a classy 48 year old professional lady should. So I blend well. 95% of the time, no one gives me a second look and if they do no one has cared to make a issue of it.

I also study women at large. Watching what the woman on the street is not only wearing but how. Shoes, style of jeans, bags, hair etc... Its the small details, the little touches that really make up a feminine image. I read womens magazines. All kinds from Glamor and In Style to Redbook and Ladies Home Journal to workout magazines like Women's Health and Oxygen. I read fashion and style blogs and various websites addressing women's interests and issues.

As a side note my girlfriends see me as two people and want to spend time with both sides of me. All love having Candice as a friend and treat her as another woman. Even how my girlfriends talk to me varies as to whether I am male or female. I even have them actively ask to go out with Candice to spend time with her. I am truly blessed with good friends.

There is a very supportive and friendly TG community in my city and I also have opportunities to meet up with some of my sisters to enjoy a few cocktails and a drag show now and then. 

A great book to read is Out & About - The Emancipated Cross dresser by Lacey Leigh. A realistic look at the challenges and joys of getting out as your feminine self. It has good solid tips and information to help you be the best woman you can. Reading this book helped me explore the outside world as Candice.

As for my love life I am single but I make it a point to share Candice with any woman who I become involved with. I have never had it become a "deal breaker". But to that, I also look for women who have a open minded personality that I feel would be open to Candice.

The "line in the sand" I am two people. Two genders. One body. At any moment I am one of them. by that I mean I don't wear panties or hose under my male clothing during the day or lingerie under a suit. I don't cross-cross dress. I am either dressed as Candice or as my male self. I am one or the other. When home I strip off my male attire. After a shower and the required shaving and grooming. I dress as Candice. I wear heels around the house to stay in practice and go about what I need to do as female.

So in a nutshell I am a very lucky and blessed middle aged classy lady who loves being a woman and has loving supportive friends. Who is out and about in the "straight world"trying to look for balance in her world.

Thank you.
Candi

From Karen to Candice!

Official notice of name change :-) Thursday evening I was out at a wine bar with three GG girlfriends enjoying ladies night (another benefit of being a crossdresser). After our wine glasses and cocktails were replaced with a fresh round, one of the girls said... When I look at you dressed I don't see a "Karen" I see a "Candi" (she stressed Candi with an "i"). Short for Candice she said. Well the others chimed in and all agreed. In truth I like it too. "Karen" was a random pick on my part anyway.

So the next morning I sent out a email asking my other GG girlfriends for thoughts on the new name and all agreed its a good fit. So I am changing my name and changing the name on my FB profile. Good-by Karen, hello Candi!