Sunday, August 12, 2012

My Sister Knows And Finding Clarity At The Mall...

In my last posting I told the story about discovering that I have half siblings from my biological fathers exploits. I am not going to retell the story here, but in that post I presented myself  with the question of whether or not I should out my female side to my "new family"... Well I took the first step, I told the sister I have become closest to over the last two months about Candice. She is thankfully completely supportive and full of questions. She also feels that informing the others may not be the best course of action at this time. And after talking with them I must agree with her judgement. I must make clear that her call (and mine) on this matter is not based of the fact that my siblings are bigoted in any way. My sister and I feel that being transgendered and having the lifestyle that I do would be hard for them to wrap their heads around with out some ground work.

BTW, these first photos are from a night out with the girls at a nice sushi place. So the first few things I had to teach my sister is that 1) A person's physical body is not a indicator of their actual gender. 2) Ones gender is not a indicator of ones sexual orientation. 3) Sexual orientation is is not black and white... it is much more than simply straight, gay or bisexual. Sexual orientation is a rich and complex issue for each individual. I think she is starting to understand these points and seeing the world with much more open eyes. Not that she walked through life with heterosexual blinders on. She just needed the exposure to something outside of her day to day world to show her what was around her all along.

Of course questions like do I want to have "the operation", do I like boys or girls, when did this all start, who knows etc... have all been asked. I never tire of answering these questions because knowledge and information bring about understanding  tolerance and acceptance of the human condition irregardless of the subject matter.

As a funny side note my sister and I have discovered that we use the same brand makeup and even have some of the same shoes! She loves the fact that she now has a "new" sister to go along with her "new" brother. I can not wait to have her come out for a visit so she can join me and my girlfriends out on the town!
I do love my sister!

These last few photos are from a night out for Mexican food. A very good local establishment and authentic Mexican. Not that "Gringo Mexican" you get in a lot of places!

Last night I had to go to a formal-ish function in guy drab. Hated every second of it! Shirt/tie/slacks... Wow exciting... not! I swear guy mode can suck the life out of a girl! Candice has become such a major part of my day to day life that I am now much more prepared to function in girl mode than I am as a guy. I love it! I have dreamed of having this kind of freedom of expression my entire life.

First thing today I went out to get a cup of my favorite Italian coffee and do some window shopping in the cool of the morning at a high end outdoor plaza near my place. As I was checking out Coach, Bebe, Ann Taylor and other stores I came to the realization that I am pretty much where I have always wanted to be in my life. With a few exceptions I have the life I have wished for. I understand that I am still growing and evolving as a woman and have not yet won the lottery, but I have created a world where I can be true to who I am and the only limits I have are the one I have imposed on myself. Not society, not work, not even family. My limits are based only on my issues and comfort levels. The limited fallout from bring Candice out of the closet and into the real world has been minimal. This is due to years of finding friends who are open minded and secure in who they are and being loyal and true to them. It is funny how a simple Sunday morning stroll through a mall can  let you see your true refection in the store window.

OK, I digress, the next group of photos are from a dinner I had with a couple of girlfriends at a little bistro known for its late hours and great food.

it was the first night out with a new top and new hair.Also it was the first time out for a "new" girlfriend who has know me and of Candice for a while. I love expanding my circle of friends and just being a woman.

Honestly I could not imagine a world where Candice would not exist. I would not want to be in that world. For decades I paid a high price for keeping such a large part of who I am suppressed and I am happy those days are over. I also recognize that society is much more accepting and open now than it has ever been. Coming out sooner would have not been practical or safe. I am one of the lucky ones. Others have paid a much higher price then I ever had to. Many continue to pay the price through fear, self doubt, and personal risk. To them my heart goes out. I have skirted the edge of darkness myself and was lucky enough to find my way off that edge. I hope others can also.

This last group of photos are from this past Tuesday night. The girls and I decided to go back to the swanky steak house we visited last moth for their amazing happy hour menu. Plus two more "new" girlfriends were able to join us that night. Again the circle grows!

A great $5 selection of happy hour specials. I have a feeling this will become a much more regular spot for our Tuesday girls nights out.

Well that's it for this posting kids! Yup its time for a bunch of butt shots, because I am that kind of girl!



  1. What a wonderful share and I am so very happy for you! It truly does take a toll on a person to keep their true self bottled up for ANY reason. I'm glad that you have arrived in a place where you can experience ALL of who you are and to have good friends who care about ALL of you in sum total! Great pictures and sense of style and a great attitude. Your new sister and those who share your life are very lucky to know such a wonderful person as much as you are to have them in yours!

  2. Thank you for those kind words. I am happy that people can take positive message from my blog. Be kind to those around you and be true to yourself!