Monday, June 4, 2012

Happy Sunday!

Our regular Tuesday night with the girls was a lot of fun. We had dinner at a local Mexican establishment. The food was amazing as was the company. I know we will be back another night soon. At dinner I told the girls about the latest guy to hit on me online. This one told me I was a "hot M.I.L.F."  How flattering! What a charmer that one is! You have got to admire tranny chasers. Persistent little buggers. This guy was promptly blocked and I am sure that he is hitting on the next girl he finds at this very moment (unless the universe provided the bus needed to run him over).  One of the girls and I carpooled to dinner So when I took her back home we ended up taking a tour of her home (beautifully done) and talking for a while longer.It is so nice to connect with friends as Candice.

Sometimes I end up with a much deeper and closer connection with friends as Candice then I did as my male self. I appreciate that so much. I like to think of it as a added benefit of allowing my feminine side to develop and express its self. Simply the friendships that I have as Candice are deeper and more fulfilling then  some of the friendships I have as a male, even with the same people.

Since coming out, I have had quite a few one on one dinners with friends who have wanted to meet Candice. For so many people having a person like me come along (openly) is so far outside of their experience all that they want to do is ask questions and try to understand where I am coming from. I love answering the questions and helping them get a better grasp of the issue. And it helps me process all the changes I have made in my own life. As a funny side note, (much like the M.I.L.F. story above) form time to time things happen to show me how much of a girl I really am. Yesterday a friend from my male world (who does not know of Candice) sent me a link to a porn site (gasp!) video showing a woman making a guy very happy in a public park. Of course what do I do while watching the clip... I stop and go back to check out her jeans and shoes! Yup... I am a girl.

Tonight was one of those one on one dinners with a friend meeting Candice for the first time. My friend is so sweet. We shared so much and talked for a couple of hours. We will be going out again in the next week or two. I had such a good time that I can not wait. I really value the time spent connecting with my friends as a woman. 

Jumping back to my last post, I stated I was going to start looking for a councilor or therapist. to help me figure out how to progress further as Candice. Well I have not found one yet but I should have someone by the end of the week. All I know is that I love being Candice and I want to be the best woman I can, full or part time. I just need some help figuring it all out, I do have one dear friend who is happy that I am trying to find professional guidance. She worries about me getting hurt as a result of me coming out as transgendered. Either by outright rejection or negative/disrespectful actions from people. We sat and talked for a few hours the other night on this topic. I told her that I fully expect some rejection by people on some levels but as bad as that may hurt, it is nothing compared to the pain and darkness of living in a prison of my own creation, also known as being in the closet. I have escaped from that prison and I am never going back. Nothing anyone can say or do could hurt worse than having the dark drive to kill yourself because you feel alone and lost. No one can really hurt me. I have been through too much. Okay that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. Do not get me wrong. I truly love my friend and I love the honesty we share. Our open discourse is a gift in my eyes. I am just very passionate about being true to who I am and helping others understand where I am coming from. 

This week I am meeting the ladies Tuesday night for sushi, gossip and laughter. Thursday I am meeting another group of girlfriends for cocktails (as you know I love that word [giggle]). There are also tentative plans for next Sunday night as well. I love being a busy gal on the go! And now it is time for me to go to bed but before I do... time for the  gratuitous butt shots! 

Enjoy! I hope everyone has a wonderful week! XXOO.


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