I Am Such A Girl!

Hi girlfriends! Let me start by telling you that I have acquired my first new designer purse and wallet!

OMG! I am hooked! I never gave much thought to how much fun it is to have a true designer bag before. Remember I am coming from the male (ugh) world where, even though I was a closeted crossdresser the idea of wanting a bag like this did not make a lot of sense. After all a purse is a purse right? Wrong! There is something so amazing about owning a purse like this. Its really just a simple little bag, yet it is so much more. I received the bag on Saturday from my girlfriend Kelly who while on a trip to Mane picked the bag up for me. Thank you Kelly!!! (I love her). I brought the purse home and spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch with it over my shoulder or just feeling it! I could not put it down! I even ended up falling asleep on the couch (more about that damn couch later) cuddled up with it! I even went to so far as to post photos of my purse and wallet on Facebook. All I know is I have a new habit to feed and I now understand where my friend Michelle A.K.A. The Queen of Handbags and High Heels is coming from!

Since my last post I have had a few outings with my girlfriends. Two of the girls and I went out for sushi to this little place on the northwest side of town. I am not a huge fan of sushi but this place had wonderful food and great service.

The next night out we went to a swanky burger joint. We have been there before and the burgers are really good, The surprising thing is that the place also has a fantastic Chinese chicken salad! Yummy!

Please note that the purse in the above photo is not my new Coach bag... Just so there is no confusion over what bag it is. LOL. The next night out I joined a wonderful group of girls I do not have the opportunity to go out with very often. We had our dinner at a nice little Greek bistro. We had such a good time. I must say one thing about all my girlfriends, they all have amazing, sharp, brilliant senses of humor with just the right amount of sarcasm (that would be a lot of sarcasm).  

Tomorrow night  I am meeting the girls for our regular Tuesday night out and i can not wait because it will the  my first time out with the new Coach bag! I am so excited. It is hard for me to wrap my head around how the purse makes me feel. I think I am ovulating over it! 


The first week of the month the local LGBT support organization has a open meeting for members of the transgendered (MtF and FtM) community and their family and friends. I will be attending that meeting with a girlfriend to see what it is all about. I also plan on attending a MtF meeting the following week. My goal is to see what resources are out there and to find a recommendation for a counselor/therapist. I may even make a few friends along the way. 


Oh, and about that damn couch! For years (10!) I did not have a television (yes I am one of those people) and I almost never sat on my couch. Now I have a big HD flat screen and a nice couch and I am constantly passing out on the damn thing waking up at 3AM by the light of some infommercial. (that is why this is getting posted at 5AM) It has gotten to the point that when I get home late enough, I must walk in the house, not turn on any lights, go straight to the bedroom (right past the couch) take off my clothes only go to the bathroom to take off my makeup! If I sit on that couch I will end up sleeping there in my clothes and makeup. Let me tell you no one wants to see that in the morning! Its like a mini "walk of shame" from the couch to the bathroom. I would rather do a real "walk of shame" at least I would have something to show for it (shirt on backwards and smudged lipstick?).


On that note I have had to fend off only one tranny chaser since my past posting. I think they are figuring it out or I am just not as hot as I think I am. Either way it is nice not being bothered by creepy guys. 


Well its time for the butt shots and I need to get ready for work in guy land (hate it so much). Love you all and I will see you on my next posting! Bee good... or not, your all grown ups (I hope so anyway).

XXOO
Candi.

Happy Sunday!

Our regular Tuesday night with the girls was a lot of fun. We had dinner at a local Mexican establishment. The food was amazing as was the company. I know we will be back another night soon. At dinner I told the girls about the latest guy to hit on me online. This one told me I was a "hot M.I.L.F."  How flattering! What a charmer that one is! You have got to admire tranny chasers. Persistent little buggers. This guy was promptly blocked and I am sure that he is hitting on the next girl he finds at this very moment (unless the universe provided the bus needed to run him over).  One of the girls and I carpooled to dinner So when I took her back home we ended up taking a tour of her home (beautifully done) and talking for a while longer.It is so nice to connect with friends as Candice.

Sometimes I end up with a much deeper and closer connection with friends as Candice then I did as my male self. I appreciate that so much. I like to think of it as a added benefit of allowing my feminine side to develop and express its self. Simply the friendships that I have as Candice are deeper and more fulfilling then  some of the friendships I have as a male, even with the same people.

Since coming out, I have had quite a few one on one dinners with friends who have wanted to meet Candice. For so many people having a person like me come along (openly) is so far outside of their experience all that they want to do is ask questions and try to understand where I am coming from. I love answering the questions and helping them get a better grasp of the issue. And it helps me process all the changes I have made in my own life. As a funny side note, (much like the M.I.L.F. story above) form time to time things happen to show me how much of a girl I really am. Yesterday a friend from my male world (who does not know of Candice) sent me a link to a porn site (gasp!) video showing a woman making a guy very happy in a public park. Of course what do I do while watching the clip... I stop and go back to check out her jeans and shoes! Yup... I am a girl.

Tonight was one of those one on one dinners with a friend meeting Candice for the first time. My friend is so sweet. We shared so much and talked for a couple of hours. We will be going out again in the next week or two. I had such a good time that I can not wait. I really value the time spent connecting with my friends as a woman. 

Jumping back to my last post, I stated I was going to start looking for a councilor or therapist. to help me figure out how to progress further as Candice. Well I have not found one yet but I should have someone by the end of the week. All I know is that I love being Candice and I want to be the best woman I can, full or part time. I just need some help figuring it all out, I do have one dear friend who is happy that I am trying to find professional guidance. She worries about me getting hurt as a result of me coming out as transgendered. Either by outright rejection or negative/disrespectful actions from people. We sat and talked for a few hours the other night on this topic. I told her that I fully expect some rejection by people on some levels but as bad as that may hurt, it is nothing compared to the pain and darkness of living in a prison of my own creation, also known as being in the closet. I have escaped from that prison and I am never going back. Nothing anyone can say or do could hurt worse than having the dark drive to kill yourself because you feel alone and lost. No one can really hurt me. I have been through too much. Okay that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. Do not get me wrong. I truly love my friend and I love the honesty we share. Our open discourse is a gift in my eyes. I am just very passionate about being true to who I am and helping others understand where I am coming from. 

This week I am meeting the ladies Tuesday night for sushi, gossip and laughter. Thursday I am meeting another group of girlfriends for cocktails (as you know I love that word [giggle]). There are also tentative plans for next Sunday night as well. I love being a busy gal on the go! And now it is time for me to go to bed but before I do... time for the  gratuitous butt shots! 

Enjoy! I hope everyone has a wonderful week! XXOO.

Candi.